Episode #5: Is It Inner or Outer Chaos or Both?

Weekly Wisdom with Hazel

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Embracing chaos doesn’t just mean what’s going on around us, it also means what’s going on within us.

You’ve probably heard the adage, “Everyone is a critic?” It’s true. Unfortunately, often, your biggest critic is staring back at you in the mirror. No one has to come down hard on you because you are already putting yourself into a vicious head lock and that can create inner chaos.

People say that you can talk to yourself as long as you don’t answer back. If you don’t answer back, however, any potentially negative thoughts can continue unchallenged, thus you create more chaos. We often follow the patterns created in our minds by our thoughts. Allowing negative self-talk to dominate your mind can lead to lack of confidence, unhealthy habits, depression and definitely creates chaos because it can stop you from believing in yourself.

If the chaos is from outside of yourself, now would be a good time to ask yourself some questions.

1. Does this situation make me feel good?
2. What can I do to change things so that it doesn’t feel so chaotic?

If the chaos is on the inside keep reading for six ways that you can send that chaotic noisemaker packing.

1. Be proactive. Attack any negative thoughts as soon as they start to creep in. Get creative.
2. Box up your negativity – This can be literal or figurative. In the grand scheme of your life, each problem holds a small place overall. Seeing it as small minimizes its power over you. Try this. Create or buy a small box. Whenever you are plagued by any chaotic or negative thought about yourself write it down on a piece of paper. Put it away in that small box. See your issue diminishing in size. Those thoughts do not define who you are.
3. Replace negativity with positive self-talk – When a negative thought is removed something needs to fill its place in your mind. Exchange a negative (“I am worthless.”) for a positive thought (“I am a unique and worthwhile person.”)If you exchange the negative thoughts for the positive consistently, you will soon find that negative voice stays quiet and inner chaos disappears.
4. Talk to a trusted friend/mentor/coach – Explain the situation that made you feel so bad. Allow that person to counsel you and challenge that negative thought pattern that is creating inner chaos.
5. Be realistic! Was the situation as bad as you imagined it was? Maybe you are seeing it as worse than it is because you are allowing the negative thinking to take over. Take a realistic look and put things into perspective.
6. Accept your imperfections – Don’t “agree to disagree” with certain attributes but embrace them as old friends. They are a part of you – the good, the bad, the ugly and the peculiar. Love who you are and then move on to making any changes you think are necessary so you can constantly start thinking positively about yourself, your relationships and your life.

Count your positives – It’s similar to counting your blessings.